Being assertive is about standing up for yourself. In order to stand up for yourself you have to know how to make your voice heard. The key to getting what you want is learning proper communication skills. The dictionary defines assertiveness as, “confidently self assured” a fairly good description of what most of us hope to be, confident and self assured.
Most people fall into three categories the first being passive where they let people overcome their personal boundaries. If you are one of these people you probably find yourself saying yes to things you do not want to do or letting others take credit for your work. Most of the time you fall into these traps because you are afraid to speak up for yourself. This sort of behavior leaves you feeling manipulated and abused. If you see yourself as the victim in many scenarios then you might be too passive.
Ever felt this way . . . you are at work and you can’t seem to learn to talk to the boss without getting nervous and to your co workers without fear of rejection? Never again will someone take credit for your work while you sit on your hands, too afraid to speak up. You will never leave work feeling angry and bitter that once again you missed out on a chance to shine. Being assertive means knowing when you need to say no. It also means understanding that you do not have to do everything to be accepted nor do you have to be the one to do something just so that it gets done right. You will learn to budget your time so that the things you do are enjoyable and valuable to you.
Your family will appreciate that you have time for them and you will also have time for yourself. You might be surprised that learning to say no to some things allows you to say yes to even better opportunities. Finally, if you are assertive your children will learn to be assertive too. It might be the best thing you ever teach them. They will value themselves too much to get caught up in peer pressure and negative energy. They will not allow others to push them around. They will trust you because you are confident in yourself and confident in them. All of this you can give your children by teaching them to stand up for themselves and to communicate those feelings in a constructive manner. Always keep in mind that being assertive is not about being aggressive. It is not about putting other people down or holding yourself to an unrealistic standard. Assertiveness is giving yourself permission to speak up, to say no when you need to, to be proud and confident in who you are and in your abilities. Confidently self assured is how you should feel when you walk into a room whether it is a board room or a lunch room. Be sure of yourself and others will have confidence in you.